i had a sudden depression on tuesday. i dunno why. that morning when i woke up, i felt so terrible. i felt sad, moody and weak. stupid things came thru my mind. all those bad things, all those weird things. i cant control my feelings. i cried to work. in the bus, train and even at the lobby @ work. was looking for answers to what questions..i dun even know where to start. tears still ran down my cheek when i started working.
i know i cant go on the day like this. and also, i was feeling so sick too. i visited the doctor. she gave me 1.5 days mc. i think she knew something was not right. i dun even hav fever.
i reached home. jump onto my bed and started to cry again. and i cry. and i cry. until i cried to sleep. when i woke up at 6pm, i felt so sick. swollen eyes, blocked nose and hagged face. after i ate dinner, (which is the 1st ever thing i put inside my mouth tht day, not even a sip of water) i sleep again.
granny woke me up the nex morning. she make me porridge and let me sleep a little bit more. so sweet of her. i took a shower and visited newly born Illeesya. damn, she made me happy. raise my spirits high. and my aunt too gave me some advice, which i think thru. suddenly i felt better. abit. my family really can change my mood. im glad for tht. =)
meet up with mr fiance. i became more energized. b4 i knew it, i fell in love with him all over again. n i had forgotten how sad i was the day b4. he dun know abt it, coz i dun want him to be worried. but somehow, after i had a short meet up with him, i knew everything will be okay. and i truly love him for that.
but im still confused, what was i thinking? do all, who are getting married, hav this kind of strange emotion build up so suddenly at one point of their journey? i wonder...